Outside of one's control
The hill to die on. Know when to try even when things are beyond our control.
Naturally, we cannot control weather. Nor natural events. Nor other people. Life is a flow of events within and without our control. To know those we could control is smart. To give up on things beyond our reach is wise. Or so the ancient stoics would have said.
Unfortunately we are not those wise ancient people, the likes of Seneca and Epicurus. From time to time, we still choose to fight battles outside of our control and get f*ed up royally. I often ask my friends when they seek advice in terms of this question: “Is this really the hill you want to die on?” If the answer is yes, by all means, move heavens and earths. Otherwise, there are plenty of other hills.
The tragedy of picking the wrong hill, is a worthless effort. No one would understand. No one would sympathize. No one gives a shit. Wrong hill, and what you choose to sacrifice over does not mean a thing, not to you nor anyone else.
Don’t trust in your reputation, money, or position, but in the strength that is yours—namely, your judgments about the things that you control and don’t control. For this alone is what makes us free and unfettered, that picks us up by the neck from the depths and lifts us eye to eye with the rich and powerful.
- Epitetus, Discourses 3.26.34-35
On the flip side, the freedom of life is to fight battles even when they are outside of our control. Picking the right one, the worthy ones, and the struggle is all the glory we ever need.
That’s all us humans ever have. Those hills.
Personal update
C’mon is one, I’m certain of it. We may be in the desert forever seeking PMF but the try is worth it. And we are still chugging along. We now run three weekly streams around 7PM Pacific on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday night. You’ll get to be the tactician for our CSGO esports team.
Would love to have you join us.
On another note, I’ll be in SF starting next week. I’d love to catch up, so here’s my calendly: calendly.com/mikedle/hello.